I love flying, big planes, little planes, float pods (oh thats a story for another day lol) so when i got on the propellar plane for the last leg from Manchester to Cork i was a very happy traveller.
Although it has to be said that the last couple of hours at Manchester were hillariously delirious! There are some funny rules at the airport that made it a bit like an episode of the amazing race.
Rule one: CONFISCATION OF TOOTHPASTE well considering i had been through some pretty strict security points Manchester is where they decided my small toothpaste had to go. Imagine if you will that i was desperate to brush my teeth… airline food and drink and aircondtioning had left me with a mouth not unlike the bottom of a budgerigar cage!!! So after being scanned frisked and questioned (all of which i was happy to endure although why my bare arms beyond my T shirt sleeves needed patting down is a little kinky) the one item the lady decided couldnt stay was my small redseal natural toothpaste.. apparently she didnt like the look of it (apparently i was unaware of the vibe my toothpaste was giving off)
Rule two:THEY DONT ANNOUNCE FLIGHTS there had to be a cameraman somewhere, i thought as i watched a strangely dance like chaos ensue. So you try and find a seat near the board where the departures are listed with no gate numbers! The sign above the board says… gates 1-16 up to ten minutes walk to gate, gates 17-32 up to five minutes walk to gate. Then you sit and wait and watch. Because no one is going to tell you your flight is leaving ( irony at its best, cost cutting by not announcing flights but announcing that they are not announcing flight every 5 mins… lol love it)
Rule three: THEY LIKE TO KEEP YOU GUESSING so it may have been my semi delious state but i swear some of the flights (including my own) flashed gate opening in 20 mins, then gate opening in 5 mins, then (just because they can) gate open in 15 mins. My state of heightened alert had me watching that board like a Bond girl ( only no bikini or sidearm thankfully i can hear you all say lol).
Rule four:GATE OPEN suddenly, just when my eyelids where preparing for stealth mode, my flight goes green and flashes gate 8 ( yes you got it you dont get a gate number until the gate is open) it occurred to me that the heart foundation may be sponsoring the airline as the cardio rate of an entire random group of people jumped up causing the terminal to pulsate ( or maybe it was just me) as the all realise that they could have to walk ten minutes to a gate that will be flashing closing by the time you get there! Glad i was wearing my joggers (dont laugh this old tart has a few running moves left and was feeling grateful my backpack weighed only 5.7kgs lol)
Obviously i made it (shame no track and field scouts were watching… never mind maybe MI5 will want me on their team) and settled in for a last flight before bed.. hoping for a taxi at the other end!
Peace light and flights of fancy xxx