The universe says… time to catch up with L&D… 

Lazing around was the order for the morning. Grey mist rain had closed in and everywhere was shrouded in a cloak of soft cool droplets. Just perfect for laying in bed. 

A quick message from L let me know that they wotuld come with A to pick me up so that we could get the hire car. D was feeling poorly and had a blinding headache so dark glasses were the order of the day. We headed into budget to pick up a car and came out upgraded to this old banger lol (BMW X3SUV with leather interior) no complaints.  As I have come to expect, the jovial man at the counter established Ds dilemma and started joking about him signing their house away as D couldn’t see the form to read the details. Once we got that sorted L drove us using the sat Nav to the village of Cloyne for lunch… 

We popped into the local and managed to down some delicious hearty food.. I was in my element with my cabbage and bacon with mash, parsnip and carrots. Perfect for a wet grey day. 

Cloyne is a very pretty place with lovely buildings. 

The chap at the pub had a little difficulty understanding me and thought that when I put my hand on my heart and said the food was beautiful I was complaining. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Eventually he got the drift and looked relieved. 

On leaving I asked about the impressive tower at the end of the road. I could tell you about it love but it would all be lies he said.. Apparently not necessarily true lol. As you will see the sign declares nobody is really sure why it was built.  Hilarious. 

After a quick stop at L & Ds air BnB it was my turn to drive to the South County pub in Douglas.. 

Unbelievably the voice activated sat Nav understood my direction but didn’t know the pub so we headed to Douglas and decided to wing it regarding the exact location. 

After returning to the same roundabout at least 5 times we eventually arrived. L & D had been at a wedding yesterday of Ds niece. So I got to meet the family and had a fabulous evening of story telling and laughter. 

Sadly all good laughs draw to an end so it was time to hop in the car and for me to drive back to Cork.. My new friend sat Nav decided to bring us back by the narrow laneways. High stone walls either side and no possible way to pass an oncoming vehicle. Let’s just say my hyper aware spatial senses were called upon to inhale sharply enough to cause the vehicle to inhale and passing moves were accomplished with no damage to our BMW X3!!!

Well my cheeks hurt from laughing and my heart was lifted by the amazing welcome that I felt.  Tomorrow we head to Kenmare to begin the ring of Kerry so stay tuned. 

Peace, light and belly laughter xxx


November 1 is here…. and the sea is calling my name.

November 1 2015 how did we find ourselves here..

The year has slipped by, time does that when you are not paying attention. It has been a time of events that make me reflect on my mortality. My Dad, who has been my trail blazer, has stumbled this year. Several strokes, heart attack and now more strokes. He is still with us but time now seems to have taken on a new meaning. Fleeting at best. He is his funny storytelling self yet other parts of him seem to be slowing to an almost halt. Time to record some of those epic tales as it will be like capturing a piece of him for ever.


He taught us all to love the sea. Lights beach was calling my name this morning and for the first time in a while I felt the need to go and walk. To feel the sand beneath my feet and breathe in the salty air that grounds us and stills my racing mind.

Nov 1

Sea water has a way of sucking out the stress and filling you with a clarity of thought. 5:30am delivers a quiet where few venture onto the beach. Those who do are rewarded with intangible gifts to the soul.

May we all reflect on what is important and what brings us back to being true to ourselves.

Peace and Light.. Ali xxx

My heart is broken but my precious Riley is at rest.

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There have been lots of tears over the last couple of days and I am sure I will shed more before the night is out.

At just after 3pm today my beloved buddy, companion, partner in crime, Riley crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side.

My heart is broken..

Three days ago he was a little unwell so we headed off to the vet..  I thought that he had a bit of bone stuck in his throat. Being a typical golden retriever he vacuumed food rather than chewing it so I just assumed that something had got caught.

Claudia took some bloods and nothing untoward showed up but the rise in temperature and weight loss could not be explained either. So after a couple of shots to bring his temp down we came home and waited to see if it cleared.

Yesterday morning I took Riley back and the temperature was still bubbling so we decided to do some scans to see if he had eaten something at the beach…. Looking for dead fish or some other equally smelly treat that a retriever would love…

It was after lunch when the receptionist called and said I needed to come at 4;30 for a sit down chat with Claudia… Not a good sign.

4:30pm came with and earth shattering discovery. Riley had a huge mass in his stomach, no sign of his liver and about 1/3 lung capacity. Claudia said to me ‘I need to explain how cancer works”  “no you don’t” I replied. What I was looking at on screen was a doggy version of what I had seen before that time it was equally earth shattering!!

We came home with some meds and decisions to make… Sleep was elusive and my heart was aching so deeply I felt hollow inside.

In the end decisions make themselves if you give them time…. One night of watching my best furry friend struggle to get comfortable and struggle to breath was enough.

So today was all about Riley… Levi gave him some love this morning. Fin came and gave my precious puppy some Reiki  then Tan came and shot a series of beautiful photos. Then it was just Riley and me.. curled up talking about beach walks and all the adventures we have had. There were pats and hugs from Aimee, Chelsea and Julie.

Then it was time.

Just after 3pm Claudia, a nurse and I sat on the floor and snuggled with Riley as the green dream gave him the wings to fly over the rainbow bridge to the place where his spirit will run free.

I will be forever grateful for the love of this precious soul who was with me through the thick and thin of over 7 years.

Run free my angel.

We will get to do one last walk together when I scatter your ashes on your favourite beach….

Thank you for blessing me will love, companionship, tenderness, playfulness and joy… My cup has runneth over..

Peace and light Ali xxx

Birthday girl I miss you… Tears and sorrow. 46/66

Some days can drop you to your knees and today is one of those days.

It is my honour to be a parent of 4 amazing individuals who each is a gift in my life beyond compare. 30 years ago today my second child was born. It rained that day and as I headed out onto the beach today it rained.


It was a poignant moment as my heart was aching a kind of unfinished ache for someone who left us too soon. Her journey here was cut short by bowel cancer aged 22 just 25 days short of her 23rd birthday.

Seven years on and it is still an ache that is as raw on her birthday as it was when she was returned to heaven…  So today I surrender to my memories of her, my heartache, and to her three siblings who I know feel this day as deeply as do I.

jess1My dancing angel.

20 minutes exercise

It seemed really fitting that the rain was rolling in marking this day of mixed emotions.

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I walked with a feeling in my stomach that defies words. No talking today just walking. The Giant held my hand and I let the misty rain wash over my face as I walked.

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Just before we got to the last rock shelf I felt overwhelmed and the tears fell. Deep sobbing tears that came from way down in my soul. The Giant wrapped his arms around me and we just stood on the beach… embracing… feeling… silent.

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The sea on my feet, rain on my face and tears I could taste. Somehow cathartic enabling me to move on and start my day.

20 minutes learning.

The Angel loved music and so as I practised my guitar this morning I thought about her dancing spirit and somehow it made me smile.

20 minutes reading.

Memorial pages are a blessing and a curse. They enable us to reflect on all the wonderful pictures of the one we have loved and lost and still love. Yet they also remind us of the pain felt by so many people at the passing of the loved one. There was a time when the rawness of that pain was the only thing that reminded me I was still alive. Now the pain comes deeply on the special days and fades a bit on the others.

Today I read all the posts from people who are wondering what your life would have been like if you were still here…

It would have been spectacular, loving and beautiful.

How do I know this?   I know this because the three siblings you left behind are spectacular, loving and beautiful and you would have been no more or no less than they are.

Forever in my heart.  Peace light and memories.  Ali xxx