My heart is broken but my precious Riley is at rest.

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There have been lots of tears over the last couple of days and I am sure I will shed more before the night is out.

At just after 3pm today my beloved buddy, companion, partner in crime, Riley crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side.

My heart is broken..

Three days ago he was a little unwell so we headed off to the vet..  I thought that he had a bit of bone stuck in his throat. Being a typical golden retriever he vacuumed food rather than chewing it so I just assumed that something had got caught.

Claudia took some bloods and nothing untoward showed up but the rise in temperature and weight loss could not be explained either. So after a couple of shots to bring his temp down we came home and waited to see if it cleared.

Yesterday morning I took Riley back and the temperature was still bubbling so we decided to do some scans to see if he had eaten something at the beach…. Looking for dead fish or some other equally smelly treat that a retriever would love…

It was after lunch when the receptionist called and said I needed to come at 4;30 for a sit down chat with Claudia… Not a good sign.

4:30pm came with and earth shattering discovery. Riley had a huge mass in his stomach, no sign of his liver and about 1/3 lung capacity. Claudia said to me ‘I need to explain how cancer works”  “no you don’t” I replied. What I was looking at on screen was a doggy version of what I had seen before that time it was equally earth shattering!!

We came home with some meds and decisions to make… Sleep was elusive and my heart was aching so deeply I felt hollow inside.

In the end decisions make themselves if you give them time…. One night of watching my best furry friend struggle to get comfortable and struggle to breath was enough.

So today was all about Riley… Levi gave him some love this morning. Fin came and gave my precious puppy some Reiki  then Tan came and shot a series of beautiful photos. Then it was just Riley and me.. curled up talking about beach walks and all the adventures we have had. There were pats and hugs from Aimee, Chelsea and Julie.

Then it was time.

Just after 3pm Claudia, a nurse and I sat on the floor and snuggled with Riley as the green dream gave him the wings to fly over the rainbow bridge to the place where his spirit will run free.

I will be forever grateful for the love of this precious soul who was with me through the thick and thin of over 7 years.

Run free my angel.

We will get to do one last walk together when I scatter your ashes on your favourite beach….

Thank you for blessing me will love, companionship, tenderness, playfulness and joy… My cup has runneth over..

Peace and light Ali xxx

Fog nestled in like a sleeping child.

Strange weather approaches from the north. As we await the fallout from tropical cyclone Olwyn the weather ahead of the storm was strangely calm this morning.

I awoke to a still warm morning with clear skies. As I headed out to the beach at 5;15am I was amazed to find that as I headed down into town the whole area was enveloped in an autumnal pea soup fog.

Like some old school scary movie visibility was very low so I moved with caution towards the coast. At the last line of dunes before the beach it cleared and the ocean came into view. Obviously the fog lay between Mt Shadforth and the sea nestled in between the two like a sleeping child.

I love these kinds of mornings for one special reason…

When you head down the beach there is a point of cliff way ahead of you where this fog rolls over the top and down out to sea. Just like the memories of dreams it dissipates slowly but surely. Watching it roll out is a gift of the early morning bestowed upon those of us that get up and get going this early.

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Life is filled with wonderful, surprising, breathtaking moments just like these and for that I am ever grateful.

May your weekend roll gently into a beautiful blessing.. Peace and light Ali xxx

The beauty of early morning light and a blessing for brothers and sisters 54/66

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20 Minutes exercise

Some mornings are just made for the soul and this morning was one of those.  Not to cold but cool, tide was out and the ocean was calm so the walk all the way to the third rock shelf was wonderful.

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The shelf itself was calm and bathed in the wonderful light of morning.

Right down the end near the deep rock pool the wonderful plant life was exposed and looked absolutely amazing.

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Like a mini forest waving in the ebb and flow of the water.

Meanwhile the ocean was picking up its game and by the time we climbed the stairs to the car park the ridge was swarming with surfers checking out the waves.

20 Minutes learning.

The Giant looked surprised as he recognised the tune to Yankee Doodle during my guitar practise today. We laughed at the fact that I have been trying to play it for over a week and today is the first time he recognised what it was I was trying to play. Still it indicated that I am still on track with learning and improving my skills..  Might even be time to turn the page in the book and try something new!!!

20 minutes reading…

Today I am back with John O’Donohue and his book ‘To Bless the Space Between Us’

One that caught my heart was entitled “For a brother or a sister”

The knowing that binds us

Is older than the apostrophe of cell

We formed from within the one womb.

All that flowed into us there

From the red village of ancestry

Sowed spores of continuity

That would one day flower

Into flickers of resemblance.

An unconscious gesture

Could echo an ancestor,

And the look of us stir

Recognition of belonging

That is ours alone.

And our difference finding

Its own rhythm of strangeness,

Leading us deeper into a self

That would always know its own

Regardless of difficulty and distance,

And through hurt no other could inflict;

Still somehow beside each other

Though the night is dark

With wind that loves

To clean the bones of ruins,

Making further room for light.

So beautiful. Just like today… love and light Ali xxx