My heart is broken but my precious Riley is at rest.

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There have been lots of tears over the last couple of days and I am sure I will shed more before the night is out.

At just after 3pm today my beloved buddy, companion, partner in crime, Riley crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side.

My heart is broken..

Three days ago he was a little unwell so we headed off to the vet..  I thought that he had a bit of bone stuck in his throat. Being a typical golden retriever he vacuumed food rather than chewing it so I just assumed that something had got caught.

Claudia took some bloods and nothing untoward showed up but the rise in temperature and weight loss could not be explained either. So after a couple of shots to bring his temp down we came home and waited to see if it cleared.

Yesterday morning I took Riley back and the temperature was still bubbling so we decided to do some scans to see if he had eaten something at the beach…. Looking for dead fish or some other equally smelly treat that a retriever would love…

It was after lunch when the receptionist called and said I needed to come at 4;30 for a sit down chat with Claudia… Not a good sign.

4:30pm came with and earth shattering discovery. Riley had a huge mass in his stomach, no sign of his liver and about 1/3 lung capacity. Claudia said to me ‘I need to explain how cancer works”  “no you don’t” I replied. What I was looking at on screen was a doggy version of what I had seen before that time it was equally earth shattering!!

We came home with some meds and decisions to make… Sleep was elusive and my heart was aching so deeply I felt hollow inside.

In the end decisions make themselves if you give them time…. One night of watching my best furry friend struggle to get comfortable and struggle to breath was enough.

So today was all about Riley… Levi gave him some love this morning. Fin came and gave my precious puppy some Reiki  then Tan came and shot a series of beautiful photos. Then it was just Riley and me.. curled up talking about beach walks and all the adventures we have had. There were pats and hugs from Aimee, Chelsea and Julie.

Then it was time.

Just after 3pm Claudia, a nurse and I sat on the floor and snuggled with Riley as the green dream gave him the wings to fly over the rainbow bridge to the place where his spirit will run free.

I will be forever grateful for the love of this precious soul who was with me through the thick and thin of over 7 years.

Run free my angel.

We will get to do one last walk together when I scatter your ashes on your favourite beach….

Thank you for blessing me will love, companionship, tenderness, playfulness and joy… My cup has runneth over..

Peace and light Ali xxx