Some days getting out of bed is difficult. My mind is so full of thoughts about so many things. Mostly about how I find myself in this space at this time of my life.
I look back and see my life so far has been a huge adventure filled with wonder, fear, love, loss and change. All of these elements have contributed to making me who I am today. I feel peaceful about that. Peaceful in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and that I have hope for the future what ever it may hold.
So when I don’t want to get up I think about moments on the beach when my feet are in the ocean and my dreams and aspirations begin to flow. When the movement of the water across my skin draws the pain and anguish from deep inside me slowing my breathing and allowing me to be still. When the stillness allows my heart to open.
The taste of salty air on my lips makes my tongue involuntarily run across them causing me to smile. As does the sight of my furry companion Sasha chasing seagulls and throwing random bits of seaweed in the air. Sasha loves the beach and makes each of our visits there an adventure.
My spirit is recharged as my toes feel the sand beneath them and we walk. Early mornings have a way of slowly warming you and at the same time healing you as the light of the break of day dances on the water. The warmth of the rising sun soaks deep into the parts of you that need to be set free as if it is a magic key to the lock on the sacred space deep inside.
For these gifts, and so much more, I feel blessed. Blessed to be here in this space, blessed to be feeling all that I am in this moment, blessed to have found my way to the magic, blessed for the fellow travellers on life’s road that smile my way.
I am drawing a line in the sand I said….
Have been saying that a bit lately. I was drawing it somewhere between commitment to my projects and exhaustion!! In my head it was just before the point where the energy stops.
But it just kept moving…
What I didn’t realise was that the sand vampire was silently draining the sand from beneath my feet so the line kept moving.
It wasn’t till I was standing on the beach this morning at sunrise that I realised that this imaginary line served no real purpose and I was left floundering, wondering about everything including my worth.
As I stood there above the tide line in the dry sand the slightest movement of my body made the sand beneath my feet move. Just the sheer act of standing still and breathing still caused the tiny grains to shift beneath my feet. As I moved into the reach of the waves the sand was drawn away quickly each time a wave slipped back into the sea. Interesting.
Sometimes it is in those quiet moments that you get it and I got it this morning.
I had been questioning, challenging and excusing myself and everyone else struggling to understand how I found myself in this place, a place where I seemed to have forgotten that I am myself valuable.
So I moved on toward the rock ledge and at the same time dug deep inside myself to find my inner rock, the stone the edge on which to curl my toes and stand fast. It was in that moment that my clarity of mind arrived allowing me to reassess the situation and stand firm knowing that the line in the sand had now given way to a solid rock of decision.
Time to move forward focusing on the goals that my heart, mind and soul know have value.
So here I am reaching for the stars beyond the reach of the sand vampires. Feeling recharged and ready for the decisions that need to be made.
May you each find clarity in your heart, mind and soul.
Peace and light Ali xxx