My heart is broken but my precious Riley is at rest.

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There have been lots of tears over the last couple of days and I am sure I will shed more before the night is out.

At just after 3pm today my beloved buddy, companion, partner in crime, Riley crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side.

My heart is broken..

Three days ago he was a little unwell so we headed off to the vet..  I thought that he had a bit of bone stuck in his throat. Being a typical golden retriever he vacuumed food rather than chewing it so I just assumed that something had got caught.

Claudia took some bloods and nothing untoward showed up but the rise in temperature and weight loss could not be explained either. So after a couple of shots to bring his temp down we came home and waited to see if it cleared.

Yesterday morning I took Riley back and the temperature was still bubbling so we decided to do some scans to see if he had eaten something at the beach…. Looking for dead fish or some other equally smelly treat that a retriever would love…

It was after lunch when the receptionist called and said I needed to come at 4;30 for a sit down chat with Claudia… Not a good sign.

4:30pm came with and earth shattering discovery. Riley had a huge mass in his stomach, no sign of his liver and about 1/3 lung capacity. Claudia said to me ‘I need to explain how cancer works”  “no you don’t” I replied. What I was looking at on screen was a doggy version of what I had seen before that time it was equally earth shattering!!

We came home with some meds and decisions to make… Sleep was elusive and my heart was aching so deeply I felt hollow inside.

In the end decisions make themselves if you give them time…. One night of watching my best furry friend struggle to get comfortable and struggle to breath was enough.

So today was all about Riley… Levi gave him some love this morning. Fin came and gave my precious puppy some Reiki  then Tan came and shot a series of beautiful photos. Then it was just Riley and me.. curled up talking about beach walks and all the adventures we have had. There were pats and hugs from Aimee, Chelsea and Julie.

Then it was time.

Just after 3pm Claudia, a nurse and I sat on the floor and snuggled with Riley as the green dream gave him the wings to fly over the rainbow bridge to the place where his spirit will run free.

I will be forever grateful for the love of this precious soul who was with me through the thick and thin of over 7 years.

Run free my angel.

We will get to do one last walk together when I scatter your ashes on your favourite beach….

Thank you for blessing me will love, companionship, tenderness, playfulness and joy… My cup has runneth over..

Peace and light Ali xxx

Walking after a storm… humidity rising… finding the still calm space. 76

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It was one of those spectacular mornings this morning that only happen after some kind of strange weather.  The topical low that was supposed to be a cyclone, way up north, turned into a rain bearing depression and has travelled down the coast with its tendrils reaching all the way to here.

Yesterday got hot and very, very humid… The sky became very dark and then it broke and we got 3mm of very welcome rain.

Thunder and lightning sent poor Riley looking for cover so this morning it was nice for him to be playing on the beach. The Giant, who debated coming to the beach was equally pleased when his feet hit the sand and the cool water came rushing to meet him.

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The salty haze hung heavily over the third rock ledge giving an eerie edge to the view.

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We couldn’t hear any thunder yet out to sea the lightning was flashing to the water with considerable regularity.

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Finally the sun peaked over the escarpment and reflected on the pools on the rock ledge. As beautiful as it was there was an almost instantaneous rise in temperature that made me glad we were already on our way back to the car park.

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The rock bridge from one rock ledge to the other looked wonderful in the strange light.

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I stood in a rock pool and cooled my feet before making the last bit of the trek back to the car. There is something cathartic in the way your whole body responds to having your feet in the sea. It is almost as if the ocean sucks out of you all the cares and woes and calms your very being.

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It is such a privilege to live in a place where this is possible 365 days of the year. My heart slows as does my breathing and when I close my eyes my mind is calm and clear. A day started like this gives me resilience to face all that can come my way. For tha,t and so much more, I am grateful.

May you feel the calm and breathe the deep resonating breath of peace.

Love, light and harmony.  Ali xxx

Riley and beach art… 73

Riley loves going to the beach. When my alarm goes off in the morning the first sound I hear after I turn it off is the excited sounds of my fabulous golden retriever Riley. Rain, hail or shine he is ever enthusiastic about getting in the car and heading for the beach.

He is my really well behaved well mannered furry companion… How I know you all expected me to say that was the Giant, and he is furry, but this one is a blonde!!

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Right about now my sister Jamtart will be smiling as she can well attest to the fact that I was never a dog person. There have been a couple that I warmed to over time, namely her German Shepherd and her Rottweiler, but in general I have always been a cat person.

Riley has however changed my life and me into a dog person too…

I have walked a lot of kilometres with Riley as my only companion.. Walking quietly and taking in the view from a number of vantage points. Now we walk on the beach like two halves of a shell.. Different yet we fit together like a team. We adventure together and enjoy each others company. Love is a strange thing, for I do love this fluffy ball of personality who makes me smile and helps me to stay on track.

Today there was a lot of small piles of week on the beach. The cloud started dissipating as we walked and the light unveiled some lovely weed art along the way.

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There is so much beauty out there in nature. It costs nothing to be a part of it all. Just put one foot in front of the other and enjoy and look and learn and feel the gratitude of the privilege we have to be able to experience this kind of joy.

Love light and gratitude.  Ali xx

Here come the hordes… 44/66

And so it begins the onslaught of tourists having their getaway before they go back to work… Today marks the beginning of busy that will extend until the third weekend in April 2015. I am prepared and am ready to go.

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20 minutes exercise.

It was just Riley and I on the beach this morning. The Giant was sleeping off the Christmas festivities and looked so peaceful. He woke just long enough to let me know he would be having the day off and then drifted back into his bear like hibernation.

The air was cold and only about 11C as we made our way down the beach. The treasure chest from yesterday was either stolen by rival pirates or washed back out to sea on the big tide during the night. There were no signs of battle on the beach, no discarded swords or injured pirates so my money is on the tide!

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The blue sky and the cold air gave me a reason to pick up the pace so Riley and I were on our way back a lot quicker than usual.. Poor puppy looked at me as if I had lost my mind and I am sure would have been happy to hang about a bit.

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I took one more look from the top of the ridge as we made our way back to the car park. There were about 15 surfers on the ridge today in deep discussion. Binoculars pointed at  a beach down the coast… Think they might be rounding up the troops and heading out to the other beach this morning.

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Water blue, Sky blue, fingers blue…. cold air and all!!!

20 minutes learning.

Spent 20 minutes today learning all about the new layout for our development here at the workplace. Need to have it clear in my head for all the questions that will be asked by visitors and serious buyers alike.

It will be an interesting year to come.

20 minutes reading/ planning

Today planning was all about the beginning of this silly season of tourists. Working out how many staff I need and what days they are needed took some time. Still being prepared makes all the difference and I am hoping that I have everything in place for it to run smoothly. If not I will just send the Giant/Pirate out there to sort them all out… Joking…. Maybe!!

Ahoy me hearties… Peace and light Ali xxx

Up early and loving it. 34/66

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Sunrise captured on our extra early arrival at the beach this morning… A wonderful moment.

20 Minutes of exercise.

No rain today just a tiny bit of mist as we headed to the beach. The sun was just peeping through the gap between the ground and the clouds.  The water was warm in comparison to the dry sand that felt like freshly fallen snow.

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Riley and the Giant were in their element checking the waterline for treasure and getting a little bit wet.

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I am still in awe of the remnants the ocean sends forth and the beauty of both their form and flow.

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Yet again no opportunity to walk on the rock shelf as the tidal surge was quite tumultuous. The Giant, who is far braver than me, attempted the last rock shelf on the return trip. When the water hit him just below waist high he looked really awake. As warm as the water is there are certain parts of the body that are unprepared for being plunged into the sea at 5am.

20 Minutes learning.

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It felt good to pick up my guitar this morning as my routine was back on track. I rattled through a couple of pieces and then attempted Aura Lee…. I had no idea how this was supposed to sound and even when I checked my notes were correct I did not recognise anything…

Note to self: If you do not know the tune google it first!! That will be what I do before the end of today so that tomorrow I have a vague idea of if I am on the right track…

Ode to Joy is finally sounding the way it should (in my humble opinion) so I am feeling that all things are possible eventually!!

20 Minutes Planning/ goal setting/ reading

Today was a reading day for articles on things that interest me.

  • Ruby Diamonde: Tears in the forest. All about trekking in Central African Republic to see some of the last forest elephants and gorillas in their natural habitat.  Made me want to go there.
  • Tom Lawson: Organised acts of Kindness. A project called Rolling Jubilee about  a group that pay off American students loans. People helping people via organised acts of kindness and solidarity, inspiring other innovative ways to build a more just and compassionate society.
  • Hannah Martin: Tarpaulin Revolution. Insight into the Occupy Democracy group who held a space in London’s Parliament Square for nine day. The criminalisation of a Peaceful debate.

All todays articles came from the December Issue of New Internationalist…

Time to get on with the day..  Love and light Ali xxx