And the universe says….10 July 2017

Its a cold grey day here in Darlington but as i look out from my kitchen window i see abundant life. Tiny little finches with splashes of red are dancing amid the sunshine yellow blossums of the wattle. Speedy little souls who defy my attempts to capture them on film! The breeze has that edge to it that finds a way to penetrated the layers haphazardly thrown on for warmth. The embers of lasts njghts fire almost imperceptably lingering amid the ashes.
In 23 days time i will depart this house one last time and head out into the wide blue yonder with undefined expectations. I am both nervous and excited at all the possibilities that lie before me. I feel both humbled and immensely grateful for all my life experiences thus far and am moving forward with an open heart to wherever the road takes me.
To those of you who have walked a while with me on my life journey thus far i say thank you. All of you have blessed my life in a myriad of ways that neither you or i could have envisaged when we met. It has been a glorious journey filled with blinding light, unfathomable darkness and tints of every hue in between. Every shade and colour adding to the palate of my life experience.
Based on this lived experience i stride forward knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are emotions still waiting to be experienced, colours still waiting to be seen for the first time, breezes still reaching out like tendrils waiting to touch my skin. Strange new places to visit, curious people to meet, connections to be made, life to live.
So as i prepare to dive in to this new adventure i remind myself to breathe deeply, step forward and listen to what the universe says…


Peace and light.

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What a difference a day makes.

Nov 4b

Early morning light has a way of seeping through the cracks in your personal mask and soaking deep into your soul. Then it pools and warms you from the inside out. What a gift from the universe. We orbit this huge ball of fire and yet we take it for granted or worry that it will burn us up as we destroy the protective layer around us.

Yet at 5am in the stillness and the peace of the beach it takes on a whole new persona. Gently it takes some of our aching parts and, if you let it, starts healing the deep aches within.

I have said it before but it wont hurt to say it again… Feet on the sand in the sea in the soft morning light is the best medicine for everything.  YES, everything looks a little clearer, feels a little gentler. The internal noise volume goes down.

So today people allow the soft light of this new day to soak in no matter where you are. And remember you are not alone. We are all riding this beautiful orb as it travels through space and time.

Be kind to each other. Peace and light Ali xx

The line in the sand…

Nov 3b

I am drawing a line in the sand I said….

Have been saying that a bit lately. I was drawing it somewhere between commitment to my projects and exhaustion!! In my head it was just before the point where the energy stops.

But it just kept moving…

What I didn’t realise was that the sand vampire was silently draining the sand from beneath my feet so the line kept moving.

It wasn’t till I was standing on the beach this morning at sunrise that I realised that this imaginary line served no real purpose and I was left floundering, wondering about everything including my worth.

As I stood there above the tide line in the dry sand the slightest movement of my body made the sand beneath my feet move. Just the sheer act of standing still and breathing still caused the tiny grains to shift beneath my feet. As I moved into the reach of the waves the sand was drawn away quickly each time a wave slipped back into the sea. Interesting.

Sometimes it is in those quiet moments that you get it and I got it this morning.

I had been questioning, challenging and excusing myself and everyone else struggling to understand how I found myself in this place, a place where I seemed to have forgotten that I am myself valuable.

Nov 3a

So I moved on toward the rock ledge and at the same time dug deep inside myself to find my inner rock, the stone the edge on which to curl my toes and stand fast. It was in that moment that my clarity of mind arrived allowing me to reassess the situation and stand firm knowing that the line in the sand had now given way to a solid rock of decision.

Time to move forward focusing on the goals that my heart, mind and soul know have value.

So here I am reaching for the stars beyond the reach of the sand vampires. Feeling recharged and ready for the decisions that need to be made.

May you each find clarity in your heart, mind and soul.

Peace and light Ali xxx

A visit, a journey and Carlos Santana 23/66

Sometimes in life our life path crosses that of another soul and we become linked by the threads within the tapestry of our lives. We go through the thick and thin of life side by side knowing that no matter how many miles are between us we are still connected.

Well one of those particular blessings in my life arrived late yesterday and so it was that in the early morning light I had a new companion to stroll on the beach with.

20 Minutes Exercise.

23667 Shell

Shell and I chatted till we were dozing on the couch last night catching up on all that needed to be shared. Then this morning before the alarm even sounded we were both awake and ready to head out to the beach.

What a joy to share this special time with each other. Talking about the kids and everyone we know, catching up on the goings on in our families and our wider circle. The walk was a great success even if she did think the water was a tad cold to walk in!

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Bless her heart she came all the way out to the last rock ledge with me and we looked in the rock pools and at the cliff face sharing this space and time together.

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Riley was of course just tracking every scent and wandering along in his own little world. Got to love a dog who just embraces the opportunity and loves the beach as much as I do.

By the time we were back in the car park all three of us were good and ready for breakfast so home we headed.

20 Minutes learning.

guts

Change is difficult. The old ways call you back like a siren on the sea calling the ship to the rocks. I am working really hard to make my life better. Health, headspace, writing, doing, being, living and loving! None of it is easy BUT it is worth it.

My body is changing and becoming a different shape and creature to what it was. I am learning to listen to this body and to let it guide me. Every now and then I fall off the wagon and reach for an old habit or crutch. The difference is now I understand that is what I am doing, no self flagellation, no punishing myself, just recognition and the decision to do better next time.

Wisdom is not something that you wake up one morning and have! It is the incremental learning that occurs one tiny step at a time. The whole Kaizen approach is making so much more sense to me now. Little by little is exactly how it goes.

This morning I managed to do 30 push ups and was completely amazed by this. I had set myself the goal to reach by the end of the year and here we are I have made it. What it made me realise is that I have the guts to dig deep, to keep going when my mind and body are screaming stop. So it is that by choosing to live my life, not yours, not the Giants, just my life, I am finding my way to a healthier happier me. That is a big lesson that has been a long time in the making.

The other big realisation is that this is a never ending journey! I am not going to wake up one day and find that I have made it. Why? Because ”it” is constantly changing.

The things that inspired me at 20 were not the same things that inspired me at 40. Now as I head through my 50’s I see the world in an entirely different light.

Once upon a time studying at university was all that I wanted and I loved every minute. Now Life and living inspire me in a much more powerful way. So here we are still travelling the road all that has changed is the direction and the terrain. And for that I am both humbled and grateful.

20 Minutes dreaming/ reading/ planning

Today I picked up my copy of the book “The Universal Tone” Carlos Santana.

Carlos

The blurb says ‘The Universal Tone offers an inspiring story of musical fearlessness that finds humour in the world of high-flying fame, speaks plainly of personal revelations, and celebrates the divine and infinite possibility Santana sees in each person he meets.’

I am so looking forward to reading about an artist who has been part of the musical soundtrack to my life. I have been lucky enough to see him live in a winery concert where I was six rows from the front. His music is beyond distinct and yet when you hear him live it is never the same again.

The thing that impacted on me most was the humility of the man and how he acknowledged the skill and artistry in those that surrounded him. Here was the man and his band that had played Woodstock in 1969 without ever having recorded anything!!!

Making a guitar speak to your soul is what this man does and in some ways it is that experience that has lead me to wanting to learn guitar. I am looking forward to this read and the insight into the man himself.

Well time to finish off the days work. Till next time.  Peace and Love Ali xxx